The POWER of Proximity...

Hi guys and welcome to SPRING :)

There’s some really exciting things kicking off at BBB at the moment.  This is partly because we’re utter geniuses of course, but also largely due to being connected and in proximity to a large number of motivated, driven, creative and successful individuals.  It’s this concept of proximity to inspirational people that I want to share with you this month.

We tend to attract, and be attracted to, people similar to ourselves.  This is great for making friends but not all that useful for creating change in ourselves and our lives.  It’s been well documented that who we associate with we become.  Therefore, one of the fastest ways of creating change is to associate with those individuals that possess the skills, attributes, ideas and experience that we wish to have ourselves.  Simply aligning ourselves with people who are who we desire to become and have what we wish to have can create massive leaps in personal development.  Conversely, aligning ourselves with those who reflect opposing traits to what we wish for ourselves will negatively effect our ability to create the desired change… or at the very least slow it down.

This isn’t to say that you should cull your friends or family members who do not align with who you wish to become.  It’s just worth acknowledging the effect these individuals are having on you and as always ‘choose’ whether to be influenced by them or not.  Then try expanding your circle of contacts, friends and associates to include those similar to who you wish to become and who inspire you to create the changes you hope for.

Answer these simple questions to get you started:

What am I trying to bring about?

Who do I need to be/become in order to bring about these outcomes?

Who has already achieved what I’m aiming for?

Who is already the type of person I need to be/be like?

Who do I already know with/like that?

Where do people who have/are like that exist?

Once you have the answers to these questions you can now set about expanding your circle of associations to include these people; or in other words, your circle of influence.  The power of taking this action cannot be stressed enough.  The strengths and limitations we have are learnt from the exposure to events, cultures/sub-cultures and individuals thus far in our lives.  Once we decide upon who we are (albeit unconsciously) we will tend to attract and be attracted to likeminded individuals.  This in terms of our species’ survival is critical because ‘fitting in’ and being accepted is a priority to our safety… i.e. safety in numbers, the pack, tribe, etc.  This is where our need for acceptance and love comes from as well as our fear or rejection, ridicule, etc.  In short, people who are like us, ‘like us’.  This truly limits our ability to grow beyond our current potential.

My simple advice is this:

1) Align/spend time with those individuals you know who reflect the very best in your current personality, behaviour, beliefs, etc

2) Align yourself/spend time with those you know who poses the personality, behavioural and belief traits you currently don’t posses but identify as needed to progress your life, happiness, dreams, etc.

3) Go find new associations who align with the above.

4) Limit the time you spend consorting with those mis-aligned, or worse who are opposite to what you’re trying to achieve.

5) Give something of yourself to these individuals… your very best.  You won’t find these individuals hanging around long if it’s all one-way, namely your way.

Click to check out BBB SUCCESS GROUPS

The power of the right group is extraordinary and very tangible once experienced.  This is just one of the reasons, I’m setting up BBB Success Groups.  I want to create a powerful, creative, inspirational, supportive environment for likeminded, driven individuals.  Many of us aren’t lucky enough to have a preponderance of these people in our lives.  Fortunately, our own personal development and the work we do brings us continually in contact with just such people and the positive effects on us and our business are truly coming to fruition.

I want to offer this huge advantage to others as well as leading, coaching and inspiring the greatest changes they wish to create.

So, whether you want to apply for a position in one of our groups or go create your own positive group of individuals, I encourage you to explore the huge benefits of building yourself a close circle of positive and aligned influences.

Good luck, not that you’ll need it ;)

George.

Running Your Own Race…

In life it can sometimes seem difficult to do things ‘your way’.  It’s easy to get caught up in everyone else’s ‘game’.  As a kickboxing coach I used to always say that you need to fight your own fight.  The second you get drawn into the other person’s fight, i.e. their strategy, strengths or even down right stupidity, you lose….or at the very least, make it very difficult for yourself.  I have the privilege now of knowing many successful people from other sports such as motor racing and volleyball.  Each has their own way of saying the same thing whether it is, race your own race or play your own game.  The message is the same in successful business or any other area of life… you must always play 'your' game, your way otherwise you’ll get pulled into someone else’s game which will to some degree or other will be more detrimental, difficult or down right painful ;)

Play to your strengths and train your weaknesses.  Know your abilities and set challenging but realistic goals.  That said don’t let experience or limitations in self belief get in the way of setting the biggest 'dreams' available, it's just each step, or goal, along the way that has to be perceived as achievable.  Once you’re underway, go your own pace and do things the way you planned.  Always look for feedback that your strategy/game plan is working….if it’s not look at changing the strategy, ON YOUR TERMS.

By all means go and get advice, mentoring, coaching or whatever you need to be able to put your own game plan together but at the end of the day, take ownership of your strategy or plan and deliver it the best way you see fit.  The very best in any field do it their ‘own way’.  They educate themselves and maybe even model other successful people but when the race starts or the ‘game’ begins, they play it full out, ‘THEIR WAY’.

This entire metaphor for living your life your way was bought home recently as me and Tracey ran the Reading Half Marathon.  I had done my training and I went in the run knowing exactly what I could expect from myself.  There was pressure from my group to head a little up the start line to the slightly faster runners.  This was the first opportunity I had to challenge myself to ‘run my own race’ and it was well before the thing had even started.  I stood my ground and lined up where I knew my paced runners were…..just behind the two fairies and to the side of the massive yellow banana ;)

The race started and immediately the excitement on top of being in front of hundreds of supporters got hold of many around me and off they went at speed.  The temptation to join them was immense.  Everything in me wanted to keep up but for the second time that day I exerted my game plan and ran my own race starting exactly as I had planned, i.e. nice and slow.  Inevitably just two or three miles up the road I’m running past the 'fast to start, slow to finish' brigade as they walk up the notorious first big hill.  I keep to my own pace and settle into the run.

Mile after mile people run past me at speed and then I plod past them as they walk to grab a rest bite.  This goes on till the end of the race right up until I cross the line with people who have sprinted past me and then I've overtaken as they walk.  I’m not judging them for how they chose to ‘run their race’ but I had to really keep to my own game plan and strategy and, in this situation, ultimately my own pace.  I won’t lie, it was seriously mucking about with my mojo and it was incredibly difficult to settle into a pace with the group of walkers, sprinters, 6ft dogs and superheroes dancing all around me.  But, I was disciplined and I knew my limitations and my strengths and ‘ran my own race’ and got the outcome I went out to get, which was to complete the entire course without stopping or waking.  I crossed the line with zero energy or strength left, a clear indication that you’ve done your absolute best regardless of where you come.  I couldn’t have done it any faster on the day and if I had got caught up in anyone else’s race, I wouldn’t have achieved my outcome.

What amused me every time, was as we approached the water stations where many spectators hang out, the ‘walkers’ would leap into action and run through proudly…such is the power of how we feel about how we're perceived by others….I mean who were they kidding?   ;)

As a final note, my biggest challenge to sticking to my game plan was at around the 8 mile mark where there is an incredibly steep hill followed by gentle inclines which seem to go on forever.  My goal was to run the entire 13 miles but as my legs started wavering half-way up the hill I seemed to be one of only a handful of people around me still running.  The whole run had, for that short period, become a walk and it would have been so easy to have joined them…no-one would have judged and my mind was manipulating me saying it would be okay to walk because, well, look at everyone else.  My resolution to my goal and game plan of not caring how long it took me as long as I run the bloody thing, won through and I plodded upwards and onwards.

The lessons in pushing yourself in something like this can be taken into any/all areas of life:

1) Know your outcome

2) Know your ability

3) Set yourself a realistic challenge

4) To the best of your ability, lay out a strategy playing to your strengths and limiting the effects of your limitations

5) Don’t let other’s outcomes, abilities, strengths or limitations effect your strategy

6) Run your own race, play your own game, live your own life

7) Don’t be adversely influenced by others’ races, games, lives

8) If all else fails, just keep plodding…..

My personal lesson from the run itself regarding the run was, if I ever do it again, I want to be able to run a pace that get’s me out of the pack at the back where all the sprint/walkers hang out and get myself up the pack where the more serious runners were.  For that I need to address my known limitations and get off my arse and do something about them.  Where in life should you be moving up the pack to be with the more serious runners?  ;)

Good luck in your own races and living your own life by your own rules!

George

Pushing Your Boundaries

A good friend of mine sent an email out recently asking for volunteers for a Boudair shoot training day she was running.  If you’re unfamiliar with Boudair shoots, its basically like a “How to Look Good Naked” photography experience and celebrates the female form ….. in all its glory! I volunteered!

Now despite being a confidence coach, and the recent training for a half marathon, hitting 41, having taken my eye off the ball and watching my body spread out and down over the past months, as well as recently being asked if I was pregnant! (which I’m not!) has left me feeling somewhat lacking in body confidence.   I work with many clients on the subject of body consciousness so it’s been a really interesting opportunity for me to understand it better.  My philosophy has always been to make a choice.  Either decide you’re happy the way you are or change it.  Either way, the best place to start is to make your peace with what is today.  So, off to the boudair shoot I went…!

I met with Vikki who runs the Boudair training.  She’s incredibly experienced and makes you feel at ease instantly.  I also met Lydia, the make-up and hair artist and Steve and Tess who were training.  “Steve?!,” I hear you cry!  Yep, there was a chap there.  Well, if you’re going to challenge yourself you might as well go for it!  After some food and drink, we got going.

The whole process took about 4 hours and involved an incredible makeover by Lydia and then me making various clothes changes and moving around various rooms and settings to get the right pictures.  I was guided and supported every step of the way and never once felt exposed or uneasy.  In fact, I felt like a princess with all eyes on me and lots of praise and encouragement along the way.  It reminded me of coaching really, where you focus on the good bits. 

It’s rare that when I take a bold decision and step outside my comfort zone that I regret it, and this was no exception.  What it enabled me to do was get a different perspective on my body as well as really connect with what it means to be a woman.  Vikki works with women of all shapes and sizes and much like my coaching, helps them to build their self-esteem and confidence and see who they really are. It was an incredible experience and I feel privileged to have had the opportunity.  I would highly recommend this for anyone, whether you want a confidence boost or not!

Tracey

PS George was very pleased with his birthday photo frame.  :o)

For more information contact:
Vikki Champion Boudair Photography www.viephotography.co.uk
Lydia Johnson Make-Up https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=598040411
Steve O’Keefe Photography www.steveokeefephotography.co.uk