Colour Me Confident

As a Confidence Coach I have a natural interest in the vast number of ways we can give our confidence a boost.  The one in particular I decided to investigate this month was colour.  Traditionally my wardrobe has been black, white and several shades of grey.  Could having the “right” colours in my life really make me feel better about myself?

I booked a Colour Consultation with Jax Fanshawe who I’d met at the Athena networking event.  Apart from being great fun, Jax took me though an understanding of colours, from depth to hue to clarity, and demonstrated which colours worked well with my skin and hair colours and which didn’t.  There were several shock moments when she produced a variety of pinks and yellows, the highlight being a pastel peach, but after she’d patiently pushed through my varying protests and showed me how my skin tone became brighter and smoother and how much more healthy I looked, I was convinced. 

Whilst its going to take me a little while to replace my entire wardrobe I am committed to phasing out some blacks and whites and adding some of the colours that really work for me. I was given a little colour chart book to make shopping a whole lot easier.  I’m also considering re-painting the house in the same colours so I look fabulous whenever I’m at home!

Jax has kindly offered our B|B|B subscribers a colour consultation for £79 (normal price £95) or a style consultation for £99 (normal price £120) if booked before the end of July.  She typically works from around the Newbury and London areas.  For more information and to contact Jax visit www.jaxfanshawe.co.uk.

Are you aware pretty much everything we do either boosts or knocks our confidence?  Well, it’s true.  Take a look at your activities throughout the day, and particularly what you’re saying to yourself during those activities, and you’ll see this for yourself. Make a choice today to increase the number of activities that boost your confidence.  Whilst I am a firm believer that our confidence issues lie within, taking a step to look good on the outside re-affirms you’re worth it and takes you one step closer to a confident you.  And, this is not just for the ladies!

Tracey x

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A Life of Purpose

We continue on our path being, doing and having the same things over and over again.  We wish for more but only half-heartedly as long ago we learnt that wishing was for dreamers.  We live in the ‘real’ world working with ‘real’ problems and ‘real’ issues.  Life is hard and something to battle and struggle with.  If we’ve managed to maintain life to it’s current standards, we think we’ve done pretty well for ourselves.  Yet, it wasn’t always that way.  It didn’t always feel like this.  Once upon a time there was hope and dreams and ambition.  You dismissed these long ago as being idealistic and unrealistic but they were there once.

If we’re lucky, we’ve achieved some of our dreams and ambitions and yet life still seems a little hollow and empty with something missing.  We have some nice things in our life.  In fact, some of the things we have are so nice we feel a little uncomfortable about them.  We hide them, not wanting to tempt fate or appear conceited.  In fact we sometimes feel worse about what we do have than what we don’t.  We hide our strengths and shout increasingly louder about our weaknesses.

Where did it all go wrong?

The truth is, life happened and our brains did what our brains do best, they learnt and they judged, and in an attempt to keep us safe they imprisoned us in a make-believe reality as a make-believe us.

Set yourself free.

Dare to dream and dream big.  Dream of how you would like life to be and more importantly, how you would like to be within it.  Look for yourself amongst the lies you’ve been told and still tell yourself.  You know deep down how life should look.  You know it shouldn’t be this difficult.  You know that “if only people knew the ‘real’ you”, they’d be blown away”.

Being misunderstood is a basic human experience.  Why?  Because we hide ourselves behind our fears, wearing masks.  Well, I’m going to tell you now, if you ever want to be happy and fulfilled, you’d better start removing those masks and daring to be you.  How will you ever discover who you are or what life could be for you if you daren’t even let ‘you’ out there.

Find your purpose!

There’s no greater gift in this world than being able to live, be and do your life’s purpose.  To find your purpose you must first find yourself, your true self; the authentic you.  For some of us that person is so long lost that we forget it even exists.  Be brave and be you.  If you’ve forgotten who you are, then just be, without the fears, the fear of judgement, rejection and failure, and act from a place of love and positive intention.  That’s a pretty good place to start.

Live your purpose and leave your legacy, your mark, on this world if you like. Don’t just live this life; design it.  Let the outside world reflect your true inner greatness.  The masks of protection you wear not only hide you from the world but also hide the world from you.  Unveil your true, authentic self and the world will step forward to embrace you.

The warning…

The life you have right now is based on who you have been for all the time preceding this.  When you discover your true self and reveal it to the world, the outside world will change and all for the better.  But don’t underestimate the effect you’ve had in creating the reality of your current world you inhabit.  Some of these changes will be to let go of things that you do not want to.  But, to be true to ourselves is the only way of living a fulfilling and happy life where we are free to give and get the most out of our experience.  We must embrace ALL the changes that follow, trusting and knowing that each one brings us closer to living our purpose and being truly, fully, deeply fulfilled and at peace.

Be brave and good luck,

  

George  :) 

BiggerBrighterBolder.co.uk 

Is 'Fake it Till You Make it' a Good Strategy…?

I thought this would be an interesting topic to focus on as I’ve read some stuff about it recently and it featured in a presentation I did for business entrepreneurs a couple of weeks back (you many have seen the video).  “Fake it till you make it” is a perfectly acceptable strategy for learning something new. By definition the “faking it” bit assumes you haven’t got a clue what you’re doing so it’s generally a choice for the brave as it involves vast opportunity for you to make a complete arse of yourself.  (This strategy worked well for me when I started coaching, and I did….royally!) Whilst the strategy contains a little dishonesty (in the most well meaning sense of the word) it does require you being completely honest with yourself.

Generally faking, or being inauthentic, is a completely different kettle of fish.  In this situation we’re kidding ourselves.  We’re telling ourselves that we’re great at something or that circumstances are different when it’s just not true.  The problem is that somewhere deep in our subconscious we know the truth.  We know we’re lying to ourselves.   We live in the fear that at any moment we’re going to be found out, probably in a very public and humiliating way.  By pretending to be something we’re not, we’re sending a clear and consistent message to the Universe that we’re just not good enough as we are.  This has untold effects on our levels of confidence and self-esteem.

So, what to do?  Well, the obvious answer is to stop faking and be honest. It doesn’t mean you have to announce to everyone that you’ve been a fraud all this time so don’t panic.  Just be honest with yourself.  Easy right?  Of course not!  If it was easy you’d have done it already!  It’s not easy for the simple reason that what’s known is perceived as safe and what’s unknown is perceived as unsafe.  We have a vested interest in holding on to our fakery as we believe it keeps us safe.  It doesn’t.  Trust me, I know.

There is a saying that “honesty is the best policy” and in this situation its absolutely true.  There’s a real freedom in uncovering and acknowledging the truth.  For now, it’s enough to know that you ARE good enough, just as you are.

Tracey x

BiggerBrighterBolder.co.uk

The Importance of Goal Setting

It’s generally understood now that the most successful people in this world are those who are future focused, goal oriented and single minded.  They visualise where they’re headed, know exactly what it is they want and strive towards it on a daily basis.  So how come then, most people still don’t set themselves goals in life? 

According to Brian Tracy, well renowned author and speaker, people don’t set goals for four key reasons: not understanding the importance of setting them, not knowing how to set them properly, fear of failure and fear of rejection.  But here’s the thing; change is going to happen regardless of whether you determine the direction or not and setting purposeful, powerful goals is a key component to having the life you truly desire.

There are several schools of thought on why goals are important and how specifically setting them helps you get what you want.  For me it boils down to one simple principle and that is you get what you think about the most.  Unfortunately, the majority of us spend our time thinking about all the things we don’t want in our life and wonder why we keep on getting more of the same!  Shifting our thinking to focus on what we do want gives our subconscious a clear message of where we’re headed. 

Goal Setting Tips

• When you set your goals make sure they are stated in the positive.  A goal set around wanting less debt will attract more debt.  Ask yourself what you want instead and set that as your goal.
• Be as specific as you can.  The more clarity you can add to your goal the more likely it is to come about.  Consider the what and when in detail.
• Ask yourself why you want each goal.  If you can’t come up with a good enough reason then dump it and focus on those that are purposeful.
• Write your goals down.  If they’re not written then they are nothing more than a wish.
• Re-write your goals every day.  This may sound extreme but the act of re-writing your goals every day, preferably first thing, is extremely powerful keeping them at the forefront of your mind and significantly increasing your chances of achieving them.
• Take daily steps towards achieving your goals, no matter how small the step.
• Review your goals regularly.   This will make sure your goals are up to date and stay inspiring.

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