Feel the Fear…..

We talk about lack of confidence as though its something we’ve lost along the way.   Misplaced.   Like your car keys.  “One day I’ll be thinking about something completely different and it’ll just turn up in the most random place and everything will be OK again,” we think. The truth is though, it hasn’t gone anywhere.  It’s in the exact same place it’s always been.  It just hiding, masked by a dramatically, and more often that not, unnecessary, heightened sense of fear. 

Fear is a perfectly normal mechanism for driving us out of a potentially life threatening situation.  In fact a little bit of well placed fear can be great in pushing us forward and challenging our boundaries, keeping us on our toes.  In its heightened sense however, it operates to shut down parts of the brain, to limit thinking and problem solving functions, pumping us full of adrenaline in order for the primal subconscious brain to take over with fight or flight instincts. 

Whilst this is precisely what we need when are faced with a life threatening situation (eg, a lion about to chew our face off), it’s exactly the opposite of what we need when we’re up against the majority of issues we face today.  Unfortunately, our subconscious brain can’t tell the difference.

I thought long and hard about the answer to fear.  What was needed to overcome this overwhelming misplaced response?  Initially I felt that courage was the answer.  “Feel the fear and do it anyway!”.  There’s a lot to be said for that strategy and I’m a big advocate of just pushing through the fear.  Eventually it does subside….  But what about those times when you’re frozen?  When the act of just pushing through the fear appears utterly impossible?  Then it came to me, it wasn’t courage I needed, it was TRUST.  Trust in the Universe that everything will be OK regardless and most importantly trust in myself.   This isn’t an instant solution.  It takes time to change your habits from fear habits to trust habits, but by making a commitment that you will practice the art of trusting , things start to unfold and become easier.

I would love to hear your thoughts and comments on this.

Tracey x

www.biggerbrighterbolder.co.uk

The Four Normal Response to Lacking Confidence

In my latest You Tube video, ‘The 4 Normal Responses to Lacking Confidence’, I outline the four normal responses to situations or issues where people lack self-confidence and I highlight why these typically don't serve us in today's world. I clearly spell out why these responses give us short-term ‘safety’ but usually go on to cause greater damage to self-esteem and confidence. Is there a different way? At B|B|B, we believe there is. Watch the video here  'The Four Normal Responses to Lacking Confidence'