Fear can be completely debilitating. It’s primary function is to help us deal with physical threat. It’s actually quite useful when we are under physical threat as it shuts down bits of the brain, floods our body with adrenaline and gets us really focused on a very limited number of options, namely hide, run, attack, red alert (worry).
As I’ve mentioned before, most events that we experience in our lives which cause these responses aren’t life threatening, however our subconscious doesn’t know this and consequently releases the exact same chemicals as if it were, reducing our ability to think clearly and creating irrational and often inappropriate responses.
As a human being who regularly suffers from one or more of these chemical responses, I have found the following steps go some way to alleviating the immediate issue and allow me to bring about a little calm, clarity and focus.
1. STOP! Einstein’s definition of madness is doing the same thing and expecting a different result, yet this is what we often do when we experience fear. We defer to our default settings (the ones that have got us into this state in the first place) and continue “doing” what we’ve always done. Many events that result in a fear response actually don’t need you “do” anything immediately. Stop, get out and get some fresh air, get a change of scenery, go for a drive, but above all do something different, even if its just for the next 10 minutes.
2. Perspective. Most of the time I find that the fear I’m experiencing is actually down to what I’ve made the situation mean rather than the actual reality. Ever heard the phrase “Its never as bad as it seems.”? Well, more often that not this is true. Get things in perspective. What is really happening right now? What is the reality of the situation today? It’s also important to gage what you’ve been telling yourself about the possible outcome(s) so you can see how your mind is working to create more fear.
3. Manage. When I talk about managing what I mean is your experience. Either the thing you fear is going to happen regardless or you have the opportunity to change a potential course of events but either way the one thing that will help significantly is you learning to manage your experience. This is where you really get to choose, regardless of what’s happening around you. Are you going to allow yourself to have a melt down or are you going to move through this rationally and intelligently like an adult? Are you going to run screaming for help waving your arms in the air or are you going to see beyond what you think is happening to the bigger picture and trust that things will be OK? In order to get a grip on yourself , you need to start by changing your physiology. Start by breathing deeply and slowly and get up, move around, put your shoulders back and stand tall. Smile if you can force one. Next, think about where you’re focusing your attention. Is it on imminent disaster or is it on what you want to happen. Remember we head for where we’re focusing. Lastly, start using positive language like “I have the ability to accomplish any task I set my mind to with ease and comfort” or “I can accomplish anything I put my mind to” (from Wayne Dyer).
4. Options. Now you’ve got your head a little straighter and your brain has re-engaged some of the more far reaching parts, you’re ready to weigh up your options. Get a piece of paper and brain-storm every possible option you can come up with. The crazier the better at this stage and the more you write the more your free up your creative mind so don’t hold back. When you have exhausted the possibilities, pick one. Make sure however you have made an authentic choice. What I mean by this is make sure it’s the right thing for the right reason. So often we do the right thing for the wrong reason or the wrong thing for the right reason, or God forbid the wrong thing for the wring reason, and wonder why it didn’t quiet go to plan. Your authentic choice will be the right thing for the right reason.
5. Take Action! You need to let your brain know that you mean business and it can trust you and the best way to do that is to take immediate action and the bigger the better. Take a step forward straight away and with purpose.
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