I thought this would be an interesting topic to focus on as I’ve read some stuff about it recently and it featured in a presentation I did for business entrepreneurs a couple of weeks back (you many have seen the video). “Fake it till you make it” is a perfectly acceptable strategy for learning something new. By definition the “faking it” bit assumes you haven’t got a clue what you’re doing so it’s generally a choice for the brave as it involves vast opportunity for you to make a complete arse of yourself. (This strategy worked well for me when I started coaching, and I did….royally!) Whilst the strategy contains a little dishonesty (in the most well meaning sense of the word) it does require you being completely honest with yourself.
Generally faking, or being inauthentic, is a completely different kettle of fish. In this situation we’re kidding ourselves. We’re telling ourselves that we’re great at something or that circumstances are different when it’s just not true. The problem is that somewhere deep in our subconscious we know the truth. We know we’re lying to ourselves. We live in the fear that at any moment we’re going to be found out, probably in a very public and humiliating way. By pretending to be something we’re not, we’re sending a clear and consistent message to the Universe that we’re just not good enough as we are. This has untold effects on our levels of confidence and self-esteem.
So, what to do? Well, the obvious answer is to stop faking and be honest. It doesn’t mean you have to announce to everyone that you’ve been a fraud all this time so don’t panic. Just be honest with yourself. Easy right? Of course not! If it was easy you’d have done it already! It’s not easy for the simple reason that what’s known is perceived as safe and what’s unknown is perceived as unsafe. We have a vested interest in holding on to our fakery as we believe it keeps us safe. It doesn’t. Trust me, I know.
There is a saying that “honesty is the best policy” and in this situation its absolutely true. There’s a real freedom in uncovering and acknowledging the truth. For now, it’s enough to know that you ARE good enough, just as you are.
Tracey x
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